


In case you weren’t always there

by nananori



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Don’t get attached, M/M, more relationships and characters to be added, rich kids au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-05-25 10:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nananori/pseuds/nananori
Summary: Jaehyun who actually felt nervous, finally showed his warm smile. It surprised him how simple words like ‘welcome back home’ could make him feel utterly happy. It felt like he just realized that he was indeed finally at home. He remembered how he missed his family and friends so much. How he missed the person in front of him.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe the drought made me productive.

It had just gone nine thirty at night when a white sedan stopped in front of Choi family's house gate. The driver left his car with the engine on when he eagerly rang the front bell.

"Hey hyung, it's me" he said while facing the camera after a familiar voice from the speaker greeted him with formal language.

"Oh.." a split second passed before the host continued it with a nervous "Come in" that followed by a buzzing sound of the gate being opened.

The driver went back into his car and drove it pass the gate towards the house building. He stopped the car near the front porch and didn’t bother to park it at the designed parking area. Since he was informed that there's a dinner party at Choi’s residence tonight, he thought that there might be no parking spot left for him anyway. The house in front of him was already huge and pretty, but what more impressive about it was the big space of land it was built on. Having a house with big garden and wide parking space like this in Seoul is one of those things that can only be achieved by few people, and most of them are from old money, like this Choi Family.

The driver parked the car properly and stepped out from it with quick body movements that signaled his urgency to go inside the house. But surprisingly he still managed to calmly walked towards the house’s main front door, albeit with his firm steps. The young gentleman just didn't want to appear like he’s going to make a fuss in someone else’s house. The kind of manner that automatically controlled his body since he’d been practicing it from a very young age.

The first step he took past the door somehow made him feel a little bit dizzy. He reasoned it for the stress he got from the traffic jam he was stuck in earlier. Fortunately, with every steps he took toward people chattering sounds further inside the house, his mind became clearer than before. Only his knuckles turned color from how hard he unconsciously squeezed the car key that he still held on his hand.

He finally could see one or two familiar faces among the guests in the main hall, but not the one he's looking for. He tried again to focus his vision before someone stood directly in front of him hence blocking his view.

“Hey there" a grinny face was looking at him with mischievous sparkling eyes, "Looking for me?."

"Oh hi Bomin, long time no see." The young man tried his best to smile amidst his nervous heart just to appear normal for the boy in front of him. "Yes, and now I've found you" he faked his chuckles.

"Liar. I know you're here looking for a rabbit" Bomin said, still with his wide grin.

"It's rabbit-hyung for you kid." Suddenly another man appeared from the side with his hand grabbing the back of Bomin’s neck and gave strong massages to it.

"Ack, stop it Sungyoon hyung." Bomin whined while trying his best to escape from the hand.

"Here take your rabbit.” Bomin softly pushed the man named Sungyoon forward after he succeeded in freeing himself then flee to another side of the room before any hand could come near him again.

"Brat" Sungyoon muttered under his breath with a slight fond smile on his face. He waited until Bomin was well out of earshot before he did his sudden extra job tonight by attending the particular uninvited guest in front of him.

"I know why you're here, but how?" Sungyoon immediately became serious when facing the taller man before him, but his confused expression made him look less intimidating at the same time.

"I took Daeyeol hyung’s car." Unexpectedly he got a rather confused answer that sounded more like a question.

"No, I didn't mean how you got here. I mean how do you know that 'he' is here? because that’s the only possible reason that you came here in the first place." He asked again with a slightly frustrated tone.

“Daeyeol hyung told me.”

“What?” Sungyoon made a shock face with furrowed eyebrows and slightly scrunched up nose that didn’t match his dignified attires that night.

“Listen, I don't know what are you so worked up for right now hyung. But since you just confirmed his presence here, I wonder why it wasn’t you who told me then?" the man asked with a disappointed expression on his face.

"Of course because I think it's not my place to say about it. He said he hasn’t told others that he’s back for good. And for God sake how did Daeyeol hyung know about this, does he have sixth sense or what?"

"But still hyung, you know how I feel about this situation for these past months, you shouldn’t have hidden something important like this from me."

Sungyoon sighed ”I still need his permission. I just haven’t managed to ask one since I’m kinda busy with today’s event here. Also I believe he will tell other people when he wants to, like you know..sooner or later.”

”Then what should I do now? Go home and just wait until he calls?” The man now started to get more fidgety.

”And then become noisy by bothering me to reports everything about him while waiting for it? Of course no.”

“Huh?” hearing what Sungyoon said, the taller man became alert again.

Sungyoon pinched his nose bridge and said “He’s upstairs” with a rather flat tone.

“Hyung...” The taller man suddenly acted like he’s slouching down on an invisible chair with a thankful expression on his face.

“Which room?” He asked with a wide smile that fitted him so well.

”Of course I won’t let you to freely enter any rooms in this house” Sungyoon gave him a good flick on his forehead.

“Aw hyung..”

“Listen, since this is not something that necessarily related or will affect Bomin, I let down my proper judgement and gave a you a little deed. But if Jaehyun later tell me that he doesn’t like my decision, then I’ll tell Daeyeol hyung that you stole his car again, so it’ll be even for us.”

”How do you know that I didn’t ask his permission?”

”When does you ever ask his permission?” Sungyoon scolded him.

“Ok hyung, well noted. But where I can meet him then?” his words sounded a little more like a whine than a question.

Sungyoon sighed and pointed his right thumb to the stairs behind him ”I saw him sneaking to the library with some desserts from the kitchen while other people busy with their dinner. Since he didn’t want to be seen by the guests here, he probably still lingering in any place upstairs. Just try the west balcony, that’s his favorite place.”

Then their conversations was interrupted as both of their attentions suddenly diverted to the same direction where a loud laugh came from and some people’s cheery farewell greetings could be heard.

”Look I guess some guests are already prepared to leave. I have to go to give them last greeting. You..take care by yourself, ok?”

“Hmm” The younger said with a firm nod, and lastly before any of them moved their legs to different directions, he said a soft ”Thanks hyung.”

Sungyoon could only give him an encouraging smile and went to the main door.

Now with a deep breath, the young man walked up the stairs. His destination was a person, a special one, and to reach that person he must directed his legs to that one location on his mind. The west balcony.

 

 

 

 

 

He’s not wrong, or more precisely Sungyoon was not wrong. There his person was, standing alone with his head up looking at the night sky. The man halted his step, didn’t sure what to do next. He then decided to make his presence known by making sure his steps could be heard by the person in front of him.

Before the man could utter any words, he heard the other suddenly spoke first "I don’t think I can take your offer uncle..”

The voice suddenly stopped for a second after his body turned to face the person he was supposed talking to.

“Jangjun..hyung?." 

The innocent wide shocked eyes before him was enough to awakened the man’s habit to tease people.

"Yes, this is Jangjun hyung, I mean..not uncle Jangjun." But sadly tonight, the man didn’t sound as cheerful as his usual jokester self.

Again, like when he just arrived at this house tonight, he forced himself to smile and said “Hi Jaehyun, long time no see.”

"Oh, I didn't see you when I took a peek at the party. Hyung, you..just arrived?”

Jangjun nodded his head once, still looking straight to Jaehyun with a stiff posture.

"You're too late then, I believe the dinner party is already over" Jaehyun said while directing his eyes to the view below where some cars were started leaving the house.

Jangjun for once decided to express his honest feeling to avoid a prolonged small talk "Isn't it obvious that I didn’t come for the party?."

"Oh.." Jaehyun slightly bit his lower lip before continuing it with a half hearted question “Then?" and a blank expression on his face. Actually he could guess the answer of his own question. He just didn't know what to say to the man in front of him, because he really didn't expect to meet him, yet.

"I heard that you're back and.."

Jangjun sighed then lowering his gaze to the ground. He couldn't believe that he had to explain himself to someone who’s actually the main reason for his presence at the cold balcony. He wondered why Jaehyun had to be the one that oblivious about it. He felt dizzy again for a moment.

After some seconds passed, with the effort to eased up his headache, he lifted up his head and took a deep breath. He wore a small smile and took some steps towards Jaehyun.

"I just wanna say.." Jangjun stopped just a step before Jaehyun.

"Welcome back home."

Of course he didn’t mean it as Jaehyun literal home, since both of them were clearly in someone else’s house. He referred to a place where Jaehyun belonged, a place where he surrounded by his family and friends.

Somehow after saying those words, Jangjun's earlier stiff posture and tense stare became more relax. He also forgot his initial anxious feeling after finally could see Jaehyun's twinkling eyes that reflected Jangjun’s own face within the close distance. He’s busy basking his mind with the warm fact that it was really Bong Jaehyun standing in front of him.

Upon hearing Jangjun's words, Jaehyun who actually felt nervous, finally showed his warm smile. It surprised him how simple words like that could make him feel utterly happy. It felt like he just realized that he was indeed finally at home. He remembered how he missed his family and friends so much. How he missed the person in front of him.

Jaehyun slowly lifted his right hand and put his cold palm on Jangjun's left side jaw with his thumb caressing the pale cheek lightly.

"Thank you hyung."

Jangjun only managed to wide his eyes because he's too stunned to have another response. His brain was getting haywire from all the stimulus and he couldn’t even choose which one of them that affected him the most. The radiant smile that he was seeing, the soft deep voice that he missed the most, or the cold touch on his skin that he’s craving more than he ever realized.

But somehow despite all the excitement in his brain, he felt like his heart dropped to his stomach. He felt something still weighed him down from the doubt that everything that happened then was all real. That's why the next thing he could only think to do was to kiss the doubt away.

He literally poured all the worries that he had felt for months and the happy feeling that he currently felt into a sudden gentle kiss to Jaehyun's soft lips. A kiss that this time left Jaehyun to be the one that got stunned. His shoulders were slightly twinged from the first contact, but he closed his eyes for the last seconds before it ended. The kiss was just a gentle press on the lips, but still warm enough to melt Jaehyun's confused mind in a short time.

Jangjun was the one who pulled away first, even though the kiss was still too quick for his eager heart.

There’s only silence for awhile before one of them finally managed to speak.

"Hyung.." Jaehyun said it with confused expression on his face but eyes not looking into Jangjun’s eyes. He casted his eyes down and suddenly busy touching the hem of his blue sweater.

Jangjun actually also got flustered and could only staring at Jaehyun with his mouth slightly open. He felt a lump in his throat and sting in his chest from the thought that he might had just done something that offended Jaehyun. Jangjun couldn’t afford to lose Jaehyun for the second time just after he could finally see him again.

But then Jaehyun got the courage to lift his head and saw Jangjun's distressed expression. After realizing the other's shaking pupils and halted breath, Jaehyun didn’t know what to do other than tried to gave Jangjun a reassuring gaze.

Jangjun still couldn't manage to let out a single word and felt like a damn fool. So Jaehyun decided to give him a little bit smile that kinda melted the tense atmosphere. His eyes wordlessly told Jangjun that he didn’t mad about the thing that just happened between them.

Jangjun slightly winced at first but then started to loosened up after realizing that his prior impulsive action was not likely getting him in a bad situation. At least that's what he perceived from Jaehyun's genuine smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ki..No, yes I mean it, I just..” Jangjun paused his blabbering and tried again to speak in calmer manner.

"It's not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable. I just did what my heart told me to do, so I’m really sorry if you don’t like it.”

”Okay?” Jangjun tried to confirm his statement was understood by still silent Jaehyun.

"Okay." Jaehyun blinked his eyes twice before gave Jangjun more words.

"It was just..really took me by surprise. But I don’t mind it, if that’s what you want to know, hyung."

Jangjun felt more at ease after hearing Jaehyun’s thoughts. After he completely sure that Jaehyun was indeed looked fine, he sighed and put his forehead on Jaehyun’s right shoulder. On that position, he couldn't help but reminiscing how they used to lean on each other's shoulders for finding comfort. He asked Jaehyun softly “Have you been well?”

“I’m..good, how about you hyung?”

”I just miss you” _and it’s hard_ , Jangjun thought.

Then again just like before, another seconds passed with only two of them standing in silence, until Jaehyun said something that sounded more like a whisper.

”I’m sorry hyung.” Jaehyun was aware that Jangjun didn't mean it as a normal kind of longing between friends that hadn't meet for awhile, nor it's about something sweet and hopeful while waiting for someone.

Upon hearing Jaehyun’s response Jangjun moved his head slowly and made their foreheads touched. He still remembered what it felt like to be left and ignored by someone he cares so much. But he didn't hold any resentment for it, he just felt sad, not only for his pathetic self but also sad for the one who chose to did that to him.

"Don’t be. Everybody has their own way to deal with life. That much I understand.”

Jangjun lifted his head and straightened his posture. ”Let’s go inside, it’s getting colder out here” he said while rubbing Jaehyun shoulders.

Just after he turned his body and about to walked inside, Jaehyun caught his hand.

“You don’t want to ask anything else to me hyung?”

Jangjun looked down at his left hand that's being touched by Jaehyun, then he decided to intertwine their fingers before answering the sudden question.

”No" Jangjun firmly said.

He looked back and added “I don’t know about others, but for me, you don’t owe me any explanation for the decision you made for your own life. I’m just happy that you’re here right now.” He tightened his hold on Jaehyun’s hand and softly pulled him inside the house. The strong grip on his hand made Jaehyun didn't dare to ask any further or tried to explain himself, at least for now.

Nobody talked until they reached the stairs. “Do you want to follow me downstairs? I haven’t even greet the owner of the house” Jangjun asked.

Jaehyun nodded to him, so they continued to walk down the stairs. But when they about to reach the last stair, Jangjun’s phone suddenly rang.

“Ah I’m dead” Jangjun said after checking the caller id.

”Just walk ahead, I’ll follow you soon.” Jangjun looked troubled while showing his screen with ‘Dae hyung’ words on it to Jaehyun. Jaehyun smile a little even though he didn’t know what kind of situation that Jangjun got into with his older brother this time. He walked first but still could hear Jangjun loud self on his back.

”Yes hyung? Ah I’m in Sungyoon’s hyung house.”

”No she’s okay, still clean and shining like this afternoon when she’s out from the carwash.”

The last words Jangjun said before he hung up the phone was “No..no, it won’t rain tonight so don’t worry hyung. Alright alright I’ll be right home soon.”

Jaehyun stopped his walks when he saw Sungyoon and Bomin’s parents and tried to tell Jangjun about it. But before he could do it, there’s already a loud greeting from Jangjun that was half jogging from behind him towards the couple, ”Ah good evening father..mother.” As the son's friend that had been visited the house for a lot of time, moreover with his daring yet polite disposition, Jangjun had easily built close relationship with the parents.

"Oh my, Jangjun-ah we didn’t realize you’re here. Have you eaten dear?” Choi brothers’ mother welcomed him and looked so happy to see Jangjun.

”Yes Mam, I already have dinner before coming here” Jangjun answered with his bright smile.

”What about you Jaehyun?” now Choi Jin Hyuk, Choi brothers’ father that asked Jaehyun with a fond expression on his face.

"Yes, I'm already full, uncle." Jaehyun answered.

”He only ate desserts though” Sungyoon suddenly patted Jaehyun’s shoulders from his behind and startled him.

”Yes this....much” Bomin who also suddenly joined the conversation tried to spoil how much Jaehyun took the desserts with exaggerated hands gesture.

After all of them calmed down from their laughs, Jangjun decided that it’s already his time to say good night to the family. "I’m sorry but I have to go home now" he said while also feeling disappointed about it.

“Already? then do you want to bring some foods home?” Sungyoon asked.

”Oh yes right, anything that can be used to distract Daeyeol hyung’s wrath are very much welcomed." He was absolutely thrilled with the idea.

“You got caught? served you right.” Sungyoon made a laugh that formed cute crinkles at the both sides of his eyes. He then approached the table on his right side and asked an house assistant to help him with the food.

Jaehyun who heard their conversation, furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He approached Jangjun to ask him about it. But Jangjun only said that there's nothing to worry about since food can bring peace to the world.

”Here some lasagna for your family." Sungyoon came back with a neat paper bag that contained a box of lasagna inside it.

"Jangjun dear, please send my greetings to your parents, and Daeyeol too..it’s been a long time since the last time he came to play here.” Sungyoon's mother said.

”Yes I will definitely relay your message, Mam."

Jangjun then walked outside the house after done thanking the parents with Jaehyun, Sungyoon, and Bomin trailed behind him.

Jangjun stopped and spun around when he passed the main door ”Bye my cute little giant.” he said while ruffling Bomin’s hair that invited a whine from the younger.

Chuckling, he moved his attention to Sungyoon who's standing beside Bomin.

"Hyung let's go to drink sometime okay, you need a break from all those papers on your desk."

"Shut up, you haven't even seen my work desk for a long time."

Jangjun laugh and said "Let's have some meats and drinks hyung, we shouldn't lose with kids like Bomin and Daeyeol hyung who still have regular ice cream dates on their busy schedules."

"I'll tell Daeyeol hyung about the kids part." Bomin said while giggling and running inside the house before Jangjun could catch him.

"Ah..I think this lasagna won't be enough for tonight." Jangjun innocently staring at the paper bag he held, already admitted his defeat for Daeyeol's long nags later tonight. But then it swiftly changed into a cheerful smile when he looked at Sungyoon again to say "Just contact me when you have free time hyung, I can play with you anytime."

"Alright whatever you say." Sungyoon knew when to give up when it comes to Jangjun's persistence.

"Then I'll get going. Thank you for everything tonight hyung." He gave Sungyoon a good bye wave and walked towards the porch stairs with internal surprise in his heart when he realized there were another feet following him on each stair’s step.

Jangjun felt stupid and wondered how could he forgot that there's still another person he hadn't bidden goodbye yet. But still, he couldn't hold back his small smile when he realized that Jaehyun was walking him to the car.

Only when they got really near to the car, Jangjun could face Jaehyun properly. He put his hand on Jaehyun shoulder and smile "Have a good rest tonight, ok." After Jaehyun responded him with a nod, his hand went further down to squeeze Jaehyun's one, "I'll call you tomorrow."

After the short exchange, Jangjun went to his car and lowered down the window. He gave his final goodbye waves to Sungyoon that currently sat on the porch stair and Jaehyun that was still standing on his last position while driving away from the house.

Jaehyun finally walked back towards the house after the car passed the gate. But he stopped on the fourth stair to sat on it just like what Sungyoon did. Both of them looked similar from behind with their heads held up to see the night sky above.

"Isn't it what you always do at the balcony? Just zoned out and staring at the sky?" Sungyoon was the first one to broke the silence.

"Not really zoning out though, I just enjoy my time to see the stars. They're pretty" Jaehyun said flatly.

Sungyoon couldn't hold his laugh and gave his amused gaze to Jaehyun "Wow Bong Jaehyun, I don't know you can be also sound this romantic."

Jaehyun shyly laughed and said "I didn't mean to make it sound like that hyung."

"Actually at first, I just did stargazing on my sleepless nights so I could count the stars until I got sleepy. At the other day, I counted them to calm myself when I had bad indigestion." Jaehyun explained after he pulled up his legs and wrapping his arms around them.

"But lately I just realized that it's not always easy to find a lot of stars in the sky." He then put his head on his knees and looked at Sungyoon's direction. "After that I began staring at them without any specific purpose, other than just to appreciate their presence." Now his wandering gaze came up to Sungyoon's amused one and stayed there for some seconds longer than he intended to.

"Now it kinda sounds melancholic." Sungyoon said softly while his gaze slowly moved from Jaehyun's eyes, to his nose, lips, then back to his eyes again. He sighed and said "I know a place where we might see clearer night sky."

Suddenly he got up from his sitting position. "Come on."

Jaehyun could only stared confusedly at the older in front of him.

"You want to see more stars right?" Sungyoon gave his hand to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun took the hand to pull his body up and stand on his feet. "What do you mean hyung?"

"Let's go there." Sungyoon gave him a smirk and pulled him gently to his side. After that Jaehyun automatically followed him towards a certain place in the house.

They entered the garage with Sungyoon leading ahead while Jaehyun stopped on his track. "You don't have to do it hyung."

"I don't have to."

Sungyoon took a key from the safe box and walked to one of the car in the garage. "But I want to" he said while pressing the key button that followed by the sound of the car being unlocked.

"Get in" he said to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun knew there's no way he could refuse the order since the older already got into his car and waiting for him. He entered the car with a sorry look and kept stealing worried glances at Sungyoon.

“Buckle up” Sungyoon said.

 

 

 

 

 

After they got on the main road Sungyoon finally talked again "Stop looking at me like that." He glanced at Jaehyun and said "It's not just some spur-of-the-moment trip anyway."

"Huh?" Jaehyun tilted his head and looked at Sungyoon with confused eyes.

"Tonight I spent too much time on just being curious about my father's expression after he had a talk with you, because I could still see a little bit of it even when he's busy mingling with his oh-so-important guests. It's not like his usual self to show a slight of his real feeling on public event, you know." Sungyoon was seemed to be engrossed with his own story, but his eyes and body movements showed that he still focused on his driving and the busy traffic.

Jaehyun listened to the words carefully and took his times before giving him a response.

"So, is that why you bring me out? You plan to find out what your father and I talked about?" Jaehyun asked.

"That's part of it, but not the whole reason."

Some minutes passed with them being quiet while the car brought them nearer to their destination, until Jaehyun decided to ask further about it.

”So what is the whole reason?.”

Sungyoon took some seconds before he gave his answer while smiling to Jaehyun.

”I also want to see the stars.” 

He then immediately focused his vision again to the road, too coward to add ‘with you’ at the end.

 

 

 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drought is back, so am I.  
> Might proofread it later or..not.

As the hour approached midnight, Sungyoon finally could turn the gear on parking mode and pulled the hand brake. He then straightened his torso up to stretch his back. The joint cracking sound preceded his mind to make his body leaning back again on the seat with a soft sigh.

Today’s event was set to be a dinner party but some guests were already flooding in the house even before the sun fully set on the west. Jaehyun guessed the older hadn’t got a proper break since then.

"Tired?" he peered at Sungyoon’s face.

"I've told you, I'm fine. Stop worrying too much."

"No, I'm not worried. It's just a matter of curiosity." Jaehyun replied with his small witty smile that carried caring tone in his voice.

"Too used of tiredness anyway, I'm not aware of its present anymore" Sungyoon said nonchalantly while turning off the car headlamps.

Jaehyun immediately lost his smile and furrowed his eyebrows. "Is it..because of your thesis?."

"Hmm." Sungyoon gave the short answer after he paused for a second then proceeded his activities again by pressing the engine stop button and unbuckling his seat belt.

“Then you should’ve taken a rest today, I believe your parents wouldn’t mind.”

It was dark outside so there’s not enough light to outline what kind of expression that Jaehyun made inside the car, but Sungyoon could hear the sudden notable change of his voice tone. Hearing the younger’s high tension over his situation didn’t sit well on Sungyoon’s mind.

“Let’s get outside” was the only response Jaehyun got from his emotion laced opinion.

Sungyoon was the first one to slid out of the SUV. He opened the rear door to pull out two bundles of fabric, one from the backseat and the other from the cargo area. He then walked toward the younger, who had left the passenger seat and stood awkwardly beside the car, to give him one of the things he carried and put the other one under his left arm.

”Sorry for suddenly taking you out without your outwear. I hope this coat doesn’t smell too much like my car though.”

“It’s ok hyung, but what about you?.”

”I feel warm enough under my three piece suits, thank you for asking” Sungyoon smirked then took Jaehyun’s hand after he finished putting the coat on his body.

They walked through the dark path with Sungyoon’s cellphone as their  extra source of light. But Jaehyun who's still wrapped up in his own thoughts didn’t seem to really aware about the bizarre route they took and silently following his lead.

Actually a big building of National Science Museum could be seen not too far from their place, but the destination on Sungyoon mind was never about a place with some big telescopes in it. To did the stargazing at the dark park was the reason why he took an old flannel picnic blanket from his car.

Perhaps sprawling out on the grass just to stare at the sky didn’t sound like the best activity to be spent on a cold night. But people said autumn was the best season to see the stars and he could immediately agree with that, especially at a place where Gwanaksan and Cheonggyesan mountains could blocking out enough light, the sky was so clear and the stars looked so shimmering.

Suddenly his silent fascination toward the sky was interrupted by a voice of someone talking beside him.

“I know it’s weekend day, but wasn’t it better for you to stayed in your flat rather than came back home when there’s an hectic social event in it?” Jaehyun asked him carefully.

He thought they’d already moved on from that topic.

“We’re going to lie down to see the stars above. Is here okay for you?” he asked while pointing the specific area with his phone’s flashlight. After scanning their surroundings for awhile he decided that the ground where they stood was good enough.

”Uh..yes.” Jaehyun quite surprised with the sudden question and answered it rather absentmindedly.

”Okay then.” Sungyoon let go of their holding hands to take the picnic blanket from under his left arm and set up the soft fabric on the grass.

The sudden absence of heat from Sungyoon’s hand seemed to reawaken Jaehyun’s unfocused mind. Suddenly he could sense the coldness and the darkness of their surroundings more. Only after observing Sungyoon’s actions and recalling his prior explanation, Jaehyun’s mind finally could fully register what kind of activity they were about to do. That’s why when he saw Sungyoon was already tried to settle himself on the blanket, he also immediately brought his body down to sit and looking for the best position to comfortably lie on his back.

The moment he used his left arm as pillow behind his head and looked up to the sky, a gasp came from his mouth.

The sound of it alarmed someone beside him. ”What? you just noticed it?” Sungyoon chuckled at his right side.

”Wow hyung I think..I’ve never seen a sky like this in Seoul.”

”It can’t be helped, Seoul itself is a bright city at night.” Sungyoon sighed, feeling content that Jaehyun seemed to really like the view.

“Seriously look at those stars, I wouldn’t have been able to finish counting them even if I had million sleepless nights.” Now the older couldn’t help but smile upon hearing the innocent remark.

Both of them remained quiet for some minutes, allowing themselves to enjoy the sparkling dots on the black canvas of night, until the night chill that seeped through Jaehyun’s clothes made his body shudder. Sungyoon who noticed it immediately rose up from his lying position and shifting his body closer to him.

”Are you still feeling cold? here take mine.” He’s about to take off the outer suit he wore when Jaehyun‘s hand stopped him.

”No no I’m okay, it’s just the sudden cold wind. Now it’s gone anyway.”

”Are you sure?” Sungyoon asked.

”Of course.” Sensing the doubt, Jaehyun eagerly answered it.

Sungyoon lay on his back again and their shoulders touched.

A minute passed before Jaehyun turned his head to Sungyoon’s direction and asked for his attention “Hyung.”

”Hmm?” Sungyoon responded without looking back at him.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

”What question?” Sungyoon calmly said.

”About why did you return to your parents’ home when you hardly could get a proper rest there.” Jaehyun paused before saying his thoughts.

”I mean you might also didn’t know about the party beforehand, but I think staying in your room when you’re already tired with your study was better than exchanging pleasantries with the guests downstairs.”

”I knew about it though” Sungyoon gave him a fast response.

”Then you were deliberately joining the party?” Jaehyun said in a higher tone than before. He spent a moment to think then got more curious about the older.

“Truthfully hyung, did you really enjoy it or was it only because of your sense of duty as the family member?”

"I think it’s not really important whether I like it to be there or not” Sungyoon said.

“Because I thought we kinda share similar personality. We both enjoy our personal time and tend to avoid the crowd. I know your parents are quite flexible about ‘socializing’ thing like this, so you wouldn’t join it unless you were personally wanted to be there.”

“So what will happen after I answer it? It’s not like I would do thing differently.”

"Hyung why do you keep dodging my question with another question. You're always have very clear mind about your preferences. It won't be so hard to tell me your feeling about it right?"

The moment Jaehyun finished his question, Sungyoon couldn’t help but jerked his head to his left side. After letting his eyes adjusted to the darkness for awhile, he finally could catch the outline of Jaehyun’s face features, like his nose bridge and chin. Also with the little help from the bright night sky that filled his surrounding with faint light, it didn’t take long until his profile could be seen a little more than just a shadowed silhouette and Sungyoon could see the eyelids movements every time the younger blinked. Or it might just because they lay too close from each other.

Sungyoon then scoffed a little bit too loud.

"Oh so you wanna talk about my feeling?"

Jaehyun could feel the older’s cold breath touching his face when he spoke. He could also sense the different tension radiating from his intense voice tone.

”Mm yes.” He stuttered a bit at the beginning and continued  with a nervous question.

“What about it..hyung?.”

"It's just so funny to see you suddenly showing an interest about my feeling right now."

Sungyoon’s words made Jaehyun flinch, his eyelids fluttered close.

Releasing a frail sigh, Sungyoon moved his gaze to the sky again. A muscle shifted in his throat as he tried to speak. But only the deafening silence filled with pain and questions remained in the air.

While looking at the stars, it wasn’t hard for him to recall all the good days and nice things they had done together. They were definitely the better choice of things to talk about under the beautiful sight. But there’s also other thing that was not easy to forget. Like how unfair Jaehyun treated him for the past months. Inhaling deeply, Sungyoon tried to fight off a swell of anger that he’d buried inside since he saw the other today.

Jaehyun sat up, swallowing the ache in his throat. When he spoke his voice low and wavered.

”I understand if you think I don’t deserve to know. But I..I sincerely..just...” the voice faltered, strained by his emotion.

Without letting him finished,  Sungyoon cut his words off, “Sorry Jaehyun ah, I don’t think I have the right to whine about my life to you, when we both have our shares of problem right now. But if you really want to know everything about me, my feelings or whatever, then fine I’ll tell you.”

Sungyoon got up to sit and grabbed Jaehyun’s arms to make the wandering nervous gaze met his focus one.

“I was fine there, it’s not a hard job to put a smile and listened to whatever people wanted me to hear. I didn’t necessary like it, but it’s bearable and definitely better than being alone in my room with all of my ‘what should I do to make my paper better’ thoughts. Yes I’m tired, but I don’t feel so bad about it.”

Sungyoon just needed to get over the conversation quickly and to prevent the younger from taking his sarcastic comment by the heart. He didn’t want to ignore the elephant in the room, but still preferred to have a mature discussion about it, so by starting it with something that sound too much like a salty remark was not his initial intention.

”Then..what do you feel..about me” Jaehyun took a breath and said “Being there?”.

Sungyoon looked away, hesitation to speak the truth halting the breath in his lungs. He immediately regretted his first outburst that brought them to this topic. As much as he wanted to confront the younger about his past sudden leave or current sudden appearance, he planned to save the talk for another day when he felt less tired and vulnerable. His prior answer was an attempt to move Jaehyun’s attention to the original topic about him being a busy body at his parents’ party again, but unfortunately he couldn’t avoid the impact of his own words in the end.

He knew delaying important talks when the other party already looked affected by it wouldn't do any good. He sighed and wished it was easier to know exactly what he felt.

”I’m not sure” Sungyoon said.

”Honestly I still don’t even know what actually has been going on with us. So I have no idea about what I should feel about your presence here right now.”

After hearing Sungyoon's answer, an immediate response of ”For me, I’m happy to see you again, I hope you know that” was the only thing Jaehyun could bravely say, because if he expressed his disagreement on Sungyoon’s words about him suddenly cared for his feeling after mostly avoiding contacts with him for the past months, then it would be a funny statement just like what the older sarcastically said.

A sad smile lined Sungyoon’s lips, emotion thickened in his voice. He decided to just trust his gut that an honest talk was what they needed the most right now.

“But one thing for sure is I..I...”

”Was hurt. And the worst thing about it is I had to tell myself everyday that it was not your fault."

Hearing that, a merge of guilt and sadness squeezed in Jaehyun’s chest.

“I'm not trying to criticize you for the decision you made for your future and life, but the thing is..."

"For years, I didn't put my sincere heart to keep standing by your side only to had you walked away like that. Or more precisely flew away to another country without even a single notice."

Sungyoon tilted his head down, heat replacing the coolness in his gaze.

“After that you called like nothing happened and kept a bare minimum contacts. Then suddenly one day you texted all of us just to say that you would be too busy from that day onwards. I wasn’t even sure whether your intention were to prepare us for future less communications or you wanted to warn us not to bother your busy self. At first I thought I was doing good, by giving you time or maybe space that you needed. Yet still after that I couldn’t help but being frustrated by how hard you tried to shut me out, when all I ever needed was just to make sure that you were still eating well, took care of yourself properly, or just breathing in general.”

Sungyoon sighed “You didn't even care to tell me when you flew back home."

Casting a watery look at the older, Jaehyun could only stay silent.

"It'll sound dramatic, but yes my self esteem in our friendship was and is still affected by it. Like I don't even know if you still consider me as your, what..significant other? or at the least that's what I used to think about our relationship.”

"It has been a really frustrating journey for me Jaehyun ah, because my good intentions were somehow only causing us to grew further apart."

Some moments passed before Jaehyun succeeded in controlling his emotion and gathered his courage to speak.

"Sungyoon hyung, I'm...sorry.”

“At that time something came up in my family and I felt the need to get far away from it immediately. So I impulsively rearranged the departure schedule for my study. I know that was not the best decision and so selfish of me to do that thing to you. But at that time I just really that desperate to get the space and didn't want to bother anyone because of it."

Sungyoon tried to be more relax after listening to Jaehyun’s side of the story, his shoulder blades pressed together, then released again. He knew a clear mind was better needed in dealing with their situation.

”I figured something big must had been triggered you to do that strange thing, but my father said he had a talk with your parents and convinced me that you were okay. So I tried to think positively and decided to approach you directly. But I gave up since every times I tried to build our already changed rapport, you always seemed more than ready to shut me out again. But I was worried still, so I decided to keep up with your condition by my father and your parents’ communications.”

Jaehyun didn’t respond for a while and Sungyoon was also being silent, but still as attentive as ever.

"I got some thinking to do, about all kinds of things. I guess I also got tons of things that I didn’t understand about myself and everything gradually became more confusing" Jaehyun finally talked again.

“I missed you guys terribly sometimes, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to you or anybody else, because I was.." he suddenly paused.

_In so much pain._

Jaehyun pondered for a bit but in the end didn’t say his thought out loud, instead he said "Having so much on my plate and..”

_And I didn’t even want to admit that the pain was existed._

“Some of them were things that I was sure I didn’t want. I thought if I could manage to ignore it and only focus on working hard, everything would eventually turn out well. Later after that, without realizing it I didn’t even have enough energy left to maintain communications with other people. I also hesitated so much to reach out to my family and friends. All that I knew was I just wanted the inner peace as soon as possible and made a clear decision for my life without giving unnecessary hassles to the people I care about.”

”Why did you even think you would give us hassles, for good sake, Bong Jaehyun? You know we’re all here care for you so much right? It’s harder on us when you didn’t tell us anything.”

”It’s because... I was scared.”

Sungyoon frowned "Scared? of what?."

"Scared that when I came back everyone would look at me differently” Jaehyun said.

”What do you mean by differently?” Sungyoon looked troubled and confused at the same time.

”Like I’m not okay. You know..like..I’m about to lose my way again and will create another..” Jaehyun inhaled a deep breath and said “Trouble” while squeezing his eyes shut as he said the last word.

Sungyoon caught it almost immediately what Jaehyun was talking about. The shock from it left a deeper frown on his face. He didn’t think the incident from almost 3 years ago could still affected Jaehyun this much. The mistake that the younger made in the past was indeed a quite serious one, but people who close to him already knew how responsible he was in handling the situation by admitting his fault, apologized for it, and done all of his shares of punishments.

After that Jaehyun kept being his usual self, a good student in school and a diligent son who followed his parents’ choices of activities in his daily lives. The only change that happened after the incident was he often did volunteer works even though he didn’t have to do community service anymore. Even Sungyoon could immediately admit to himself that he actually had already forgotten about this matter. So he really wanted to know why this issue came up again, but the thought that emotional support was what Jaehyun needed the most for now made him decline his curious mind from asking questions to Jaehyun.

Sungyoon cupped Jaehyun’s face carefully and saw the two sad eyes opened for him. He spoke with his soft, almost like whisper voice “Jaehyun, you can tell me that you’re not okay anytime and I promise I won’t judge.”

He seemed about to say something more but decided to settle his lips together. This particular issue could’ve contained emotional memory from the incident that shouldn't be touched recklessly, so he didn’t want to brought it up any further before he could grasp a better understanding about the correlation between Jaehyun’s current discomfort or fear of being judged with this one past issue. Instead he said “You also didn't have to let yourself be scared alone Jaehyun ah.”

Sungyoon grabbed Jaehyun hands and held them tight. His eyes firmly stared at Jaehyun’s. “You may not know about this, but sometimes I can see even simple or little things that you do for people around you. And I never want someone who is so kind and can give light in other people’s life to be the one who lost in the dark.”

This time Sungyoon tried to speak as firm as his eyes “Listen, I may not be able to be your source of light, but could you please at least just grabbed my hands when things get hard, so you can feel that I'm with you, holding you like this.” He squeezed Jaehyun’s hands once. “I hope you won’t have to shy away from asking for help, but just leaning on me when it’s needed is ok too. I won’t force you to tell your stories, I just don’t want you to struggle alone.”

Sungyoon paused then spoke with his soft tone again ”This much you have to understand, how you face your problems is something you will have to decide for yourself but you also have to remember that there are people who really care about you. So please..please whatever happens in the future don’t shut me out again.”

Jaehyun tried hard to blink back a tear, but it escaped and slid down his cheek. No words were spoken but he squeezed back Sungyoon’s hands as the sign that he listened well to the older’s words. He cleared his throat and whispered an apology while looking down at their hands. When he looked up, one of Sungyoon’s hand escaped from his hold to wipe the tears on his cheek.

”I hope this is the last time you say sorry to me” Sungyoon said while stroking Jaehyun’s damp cheek. He then pulled Jaehyun slowly and put his head on his chest.

Deep inside Sungyoon felt sorry too for Jaehyun. His prior intention was to show him a beautiful sight while also probing about his talk with Sungyoon’s father. But in the end only one matched his plan, the other were the talks he didn’t expect happened tonight. So his heart actually also wasn’t prepare for that.

Seeing the younger’s tears made him realize that there was this fact about Jaehyun that terrified him. He never saw the younger cried, not even once, and that was probably the worst revelation he got tonight. A thought occurred on him that there was a probability that, contrary to his belief, Jaehyun didn’t try to shut people out, he just genuinely didn’t know how to express his deep feelings instead. From his story Sungyoon got the idea that Jaehyun had difficult times, so he most likely had a lot of negative feelings but failed to communicate it. He also remembered how he was busy being frustrated with Jaehyun but gave up on him in the end.

Suddenly Sungyoon’s heart hurt so much that he held the younger tighter in his arms.

 

 


	3. Three

In a dark quiet bedroom, the door was slightly pushed open from the outside without a sound. The light that slipped through its crack making a white straight shape on the floor.

“Jaehyun..Jaehyun” a dark figure that was holding the door knob broke the silence.

Following it, a rustling sound could be heard coming from the queen size bed in the middle of the room. The figure took it as the sign to take some steps forwards.

”I don’t..have class..today.” A scratchy mumble came from a bundled up body under the duvet.

“I know” said the figure that already arrived beside the bed. He smiled, amazed with how fast the sleeping person in front of him reacted to his first attempt of waking him up. For him, Jaehyun always gave a slow pace feeling in everything he did. But who knew there’s a reversal when he’s asleep, though Jaehyun’s answer still depicted his half conscious state.

"Sorry for waking you up, but Mom was wondering if you want to join us downstairs” he added.

“What..why?” Jaehyun’s head slowly emerged with the disarray hair from the self made cocoon.

“For breakfast, of course” the immediate answer for Jaehyun's bewildered question sounded amused.

“I didn’t..” Jaehyun paused for a second because of his groggy mind “..breakfast”.

"I’m not sure what you meant by that.” The standing figure chuckled then sit on the bed, “But I think you do breakfast”.

He reached out his hand to brush off some hair that covered Jaehyun’s eyes "How's your sleep? still have a jet lag?.” He sighed before adding "Sorry if I disturbed your sleep, but you usually like to be meticulous with your lifestyle, so we’re not sure if you mind skipping breakfast or not.”

Jaehyun jerked his head up in confusion. “Meticulous? me?” he said with his morning hoarse voice. “Since when?”

“Since I realized a particular someone can only sleeps in pajama, maybe?.”

Last night, after Sungyoon told Jaehyun to pick anything in his wardrobes to change, the latter asked him where to find a pair of pajamas. He could only laugh at the younger for being blunt about it since he usually only wear his short pants with plain shirt or hoodie to sleep. It eventually took him a quite some time to find them because they were really buried under other clothes in his closet.

Jaehyun stretched his body and yawned “But pajamas are comfortable and warm. And that's my parents who like to be meticulous, not me.”

Looking at Jaehyun’s tired appearance, Sungyoon glanced at the window direction and decided to not open the curtains like he always did in the morning.

He stood up from the bed and said “Just take your time, or you can just go back to sleep. I'm going downstairs first ok?."

Jaehyun slowly pulled his body up to sit while rubbing his eyes, "Ok."

Sungyoon gave him a small smile then walked out leaving the room.

Jaehyun woke up feeling out of sorts. He didn't mind having a breakfast but also didn’t feel like having any interactions with people in the morning. He grabbed his phone to check the time on the screen just to sigh afterwards. Actually he used to not have any breakfast on his day off while living abroad. Since he lived alone without any direct supervision, he never really woke up in the morning unless he had schedules to follow. So according to his new routine, 07.20 a.m on weekend day was felt too early for everything.

Still, Jaehyun chose to join others downstairs. He made his way to the bathroom first to clean up a little bit. He just couldn't risk going downstairs with a possible drooling mark on his face.

After entering his destination with half open eyes, Jaehyun started washing his face first to rinse off the sleepiness. Since he’s aware that usually the toiletries in the guest room were not personal items, he didn’t hesitate to use the toothbrush from the tray in front of him.

He’s just about to put the toothpaste on it when suddenly someone barged in through the bathroom’s half open door. The action successfully made Jaehyun, who was still in half asleep state, open his eyes widely.

The intruder halted his step when their eyes met and stayed silent for a second before he finally said "Ups..sorry, I wasn’t aware that this room is occupied."

Jaehyun who froze at his spot was wondering how silly he might've looked to the smiley person in front of him. He literally jumped a bit earlier and had a white face from the shock. He really despised his nonsense fear of ghosts that could make him look like a fool sometimes. It's only a relieve that he didn't scream or made an unnecessary noise for it.

Without waiting for his response, the person in front of Jaehyun gestured his head to the under sink cabinet direction. "Just need to grab something here."

Jaehyun gave his permission by nodding once and moved a little bit to his right side. He saw the other walking past by him to open one of the cabinet doors where small towels and rolls of toilet papers were neatly stashed behind it. He guessed the guest bathroom was also the place to keep some bathroom supplies for the family.

Jaehyun stopped watching after he saw the other took a small towel to put it on his head.

Beside from the event yesterday, it had been quite a while since the last time he saw the high school boy. And from his quick observation, Jaehyun already realized the significant change on him. Bomin's body was definitely grew so much bigger that Jaehyun got a different feeling from being close with him in the same room. It felt like Bomin took up a lot of space now.

Knowing Bomin already got what he needed, Jaehyun decided to just ignore the other’s presence and started over his interrupted activity again.

But strangely, Bomin didn’t immediately leave the room after that. It made Jaehyun, who was in the middle of brushing his teeth thoroughly, get curious and shifted his attention for a second to the left side of the big mirror in front of him. From its reflection, he could catch a peculiar sight of Bomin that kept staring at his direction. Feeling weirded out by the younger's action, Jaehyun's hand movements were getting slower in the process. When it stopped completely, he quickly washed the toothbrush and gargled with the tap water he had fetched with a glass. He spat the water out while glaring to the mirror again.

”You’re staring” Jaehyun said to Bomin’s reflection on the mirror.

”Am I?” Bomin calmly said while softly rubbing his wet hair with the towel.

”Why?” Jaehyun wiped his mouth with his sleeve and turned his head to look directly at Bomin.

“Maybe because..you look pretty this morning” Bomin answered, still with a composed look on his face.

Jaehyun shifted his standing position to lean more on his right leg and pulled a cynical face. He knew that there's no way the boy was being serious about what he just said.  

“Was it meant to be a compliment?”.

“Not really, just being relieved.”

Jaehyun could say that he almost forgot how good Bomin was at making expressions in front of people. And Bomin always made the cringiest fake concerned face in front of him.

”What do you mean?” Jaehyun asked flatly.

“Actually I saw Sungyoon hyung’s face when you just arrived here yesterday. And seriously, for some seconds I really thought he’s about to give you a good punch in the face.”

Bomin sighed then continued “I noticed you guys were disappeared last night, so I wondered if he would really do that."

Jaehyun closed his eyes slowly after he listened to what the other said. He replied with his clenched teeth “Oh really? I don’t know about that.” When he opened his eyes again, he looked directly at Bomin’s eyes and said “You look like the one who want to punch me though” _everytime_ , he thought.

Bomin scoffed and offered his signature gummy smile. But his eyes spoke different volumes, full of sneers yet intrigued. Then he took some steps forward to stand close in front of Jaehyun.

”Nope” Bomin said.

With their slight height differences, Bomin tilted his head down. Amusement twinkled in his eyes

”I think I’d rather do something else” Bomin talked with a slightly deeper voice as he patted Jaehyun's head.

Jaehyun who was not in the mood to entertain the younger’s antic could only replied him with “Whatever”. He grabbed Bomin’s hand from the top of his head to make it hanging on the air.

"Don’t forget, I’m still older than you” Jaehyun side eyeing their hands then released Bomin's hand aside.

“Right” Bomin straightening up his posture again. “Sorry for hardly feeling it" he tilted his head to the right and gave Jaehyun a straight smile.

Hearing the gibe with a cheerful tone in Bomin’s voice made Jaehyun felt more furious inside. He showed his irritated face but decided to let it slide since he was already used to their passive aggressive dynamics.

Bomin walked his steps to leave the room still with a small smile on his face. But he suddenly stopped at the door and said "Ah yes one more thing.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, feeling already tired by all of conversations he had with Bomin in the morning. He didn't want to spend his energy to hear more words from the younger.

“Thank you” Bomin said.

“For what?” as soon as Bomin finished talking, Jaehyun turned his body around and unintentionally said the question on his mind out loud although he initially didn’t want to give Bomin any satisfaction by responding to whatever he said anymore.

Feeling amused by the immediate question, Bomin turned his head to the left but still had his back on Jaehyun. He put the towel on his shoulder and curled his lips into a smirk.

With their current standing position, there was another change on Bomin that Jaehyun noticed aside from his growth spurt. It was his striking side profile. Even the damp fringes that mostly covered Bomin’s eyes didn't hinder his matured visual. Different than himself who still had a bit of baby fat left on his cheeks, Jaehyun found the younger, who also used to have a boyish look, was already starting to look like a typical good looking young man. Apparently Bomin not only grew taller but also more attractive. Of course in an objective way and not in the sense he was attracted to him, Jaehyun thought to himself.

Jaehyun's random thought was interrupted when Bomin shortly answered his question.

“For choosing this room to stay.”

It took Jaehyun quite some times to process what he just heard. He could finally realize what Bomin implied only when the later was already walking out of the room.

"I've never been the one who could choose which room to stay in this house" Jaehyun shouted while walking to the bathroom door in a huff though he's not sure whether Bomin could still hear him or not.

Jaehyun found Bomin’s words to be annoyingly ridiculous because he believed both of them were aware about the real situation. Since they were young, Bomin’s parents never asked where Jaehyun wanted to stay and always made him sleep in Bomin’s room. Something that’s never been a problem until both of them grew up as teenagers.

Jaehyun remembered one time when he noticed Bomin’s discomfort about the arrangement so he asked a permission for another room to stay. Surprisingly, things became more awkward for them because their parents asked whether they fought with each other and made an unnecessary fuss about it. Since then, both of them just quietly accepted it and didn’t bother to explain themselves as sleepover was just an occasional thing to begin with.

Jaehyun sighed as he was trying to recall how long had it been since the last time he’s staying the night in Choi family's house. He suddenly noticed that everything about the house were already looked and felt familiar to him. Although he’s not always observant about his surroundings, Jaehyun thought that the house was probably also stayed the same since his childhood days.

The only changes that apparent to him was his relationships with some of the family members. Over the years he grew closer to Sungyoon and his father. But unfortunately it went to a different direction with Bomin, the one that Jaehyun ironically the most close with when he was still a kid. And the recollection of the buried knowledge about the reason why the shift started in the first place made his stomach tightened uncomfortably.

At that moment he decided to just take a quick shower to refresh his mind. He believed it would help him to keep out the sudden anxious thoughts from staying too long. So this time, not like before, he didn’t forget to push close and lock the bathroom door.

 

 

 

 

 

Jaehyun found it interesting how hot shower and nice breakfast did wonders to him. He felt less tired and had a better mood almost instantly. Also hardly anyone was talking during the breakfast so he was really relieved for that. But if he had to choose one thing, he would give the credit to the delicious rice cake soup as the main cause of his bearable morning. The must have dish for new year day was seemingly being served early because one person among people that were sitting around the table was in need of menu that also worked as hangover reliever.

Jaehyun hesitated for a moment before he broke the silence.

“The foods are delicious, thank you for having me here.”

“It’s nice seeing you eat a lot, I was kinda worried since you look skinnier.” Choi Jinhyuk, the one that had the most tired face was the first one to smile and replied him. “I hope you didn’t get hard times finding the foods you like.” He knew Jaehyun was a picky eater, so he thought that Jaehyun probably didn’t eat much in other country because of that.

“I just got busy adapting with my study and kinda messed up my eating schedule. But I ate a lot of good foods there.”

Choi Jinhyuk sipped his coffee and nodded.

“Oh I brought some snacks and souvenirs for you guys. They’re in my bag, I’m gonna bring it down later” Jaehyun added.

“So that’s the reason why you have a big backpack with you but no spare clothes in it” Sungyoon said from his seat across Jaehyun.

“That’s because I didn’t plan to stay the night here.”

Jaehyun rubbed the corner of his right eye then tried to see the clock on the wall. “And I think it’s about time for me to go home. I still have to arrange back my things, I haven’t even open my luggages.”

“You plan to stay longer here?.”   

Bomin who sat beside Jaehyun was the one who asked the sudden question. But the younger didn’t even bat an eye to Jaehyun because he’s busy looking at the phone on his hand. In front of him sat a bowl of rice cake soup that was still left half full.

“Here..as in?” Jaehyun was not sure about Bomin’s question.

“Korea” answered Bomin with his eyes still focused on his phone screen.

“I decided to stay here, in Korea.”

“What do you mean?” for once Bomin lifted up his head and looked Jaehyun in the eyes.

“That means I’m back to live in Korea”

“You dropped out from your college?” Bomin definitely didn’t look impressed as he threw a grimace at Jaehyun.

“I will transfer to university in Korea of course.”

“What are you..” Bomin couldn’t finish his words because another voice cut in their conversation.

“Bomin finish your breakfast, you don’t want to be late” Bomin’s mother said, giving him a slight frown. Both of Jaehyun and Bomin were instantly looking at her.

Knowing better what would come if he didn’t listen to his mother, Bomin could only side eyeing Jaehyun then looked into his bowl. After putting his phone on the table, Bomin picked up his spoon to start eating again.

“Jaehyun, let’s stay here until lunch time. I’ll cook delicious foods for you” Bomin’s mother said with an hopeful smile.  

“Thank you for the offer auntie, but I can’t stay longer today. Let’s have a lunch together next time.”

“Aw I’m a little bit disappointed here..but of course we still can have a lunch next time. Maybe with your parents joining us?.”

“Ah..that’s..” Jaehyun avoided her gaze after she brought up his parents into their conversation.

“Yeah that sounds good too” Jaehyun said, still not looking at her direction.

Noticing Jaehyun’s discomfort, Choi Jinhyuk returned his cup to its saucer then asked him another question  “When will your driver pick you up?.”

“Oh I’ll just take a taxi home.”

“Why? You haven’t called him yet?.”

“Actually Mr. Jung has already retired since four months ago, so I probably will take public transportations more from now on” Jaehyun tried to appear casual about it.

Choi brother’s mother lift her eyebrows in surprise before she exchanged looks with her husband. “Oh really? and are you okay with it?” she said with a concerned expression on her face.

Jaehyun knew what she actually meant was whether his parents were ok about it.

“Yes, I’m used to going around alone now and I think this is a good chance for me to be more independent.”

“Right, but I suppose you haven’t used public transportations that much in Seoul. Our driver will take Bomin to his group study place. Both of you can go together, he will drive you home after that.” Seemed like Bomin’s mother didn’t really want to let Jaehyun took a taxi ride alone home.

Jaehyun shook his head “Oh no..no I’m okay with just taking taxi, auntie. Thank you again for the offer.”

“Well, I can drive you home” Sungyoon suddenly offered.

“No, Sungyoon you need to rest. I’ve called Dr. Park, he will come in an hour” his mother looked at him with a stern face.

Sungyoon widened his eyes in surprise “What? Mom it’s just a cold.”

“Yes and it still can go worse, better to check thoroughly and give you a shot than having bad influenza later. You should also take a break from using your laptop. I want you to have a total rest today, your thesis can wait.”

Jaehyun who got surprised with the news was staring intently at Sungyoon but got ignored by the latter in the process. He realized the older didn’t talk much this morning but he didn’t expect him to be sick. Jaehyun blamed himself for making Sungyoon being in the cold place for too long last night. He bit his lower lip, feeling regretful and worried.

“Mom, don’t you remember last night after the party Dad made our staff drink so much. They probably suffer from the hangover like dad too. I don’t think Mr. Kim is in a right condition to drive. I’ll just ask Sanha to pick me up” Bomin cut his mother’s talk.

“You can go together with him if it’s for your school, but your academy is on different direction” his mother disagreed.

“Just take a taxi together with Jaehyun” Choi Jinhyuk said.

“What?” Bomin asked with a disbelief look.

“Both of you are heading to the same direction after all.” After saying that, the head of the household stood up from his seat. That brought their conversations to an end. He left the table without saying anything else other than “Be careful on your way you two.”

 

 

 

 

 

Light drizzle started hitting the windshield when the taxi stopped at the traffic lights. The raindrops were sticking on the windows for a while before they got hit with more drops of water coming from the gray sky. Jaehyun watched as the raindrops collided with each other on the glass surface then popped into fat droplets that fell down leaving trails of water behind. The rain gradually poured down harder making white noise when they hit the car’s roof.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, imagining the scent that those water would create when they fell on the ground.

The taxi started moving again with its windshield wipers clacked back and forth when the light turned green. Feeling drowsy by the solemn ambience, Jaehyun closed his eyes intending to take a short nap.

But when his consciousness began to drift away into a peaceful slumber, he felt his phone started buzzing.

Jaehyun shoved his hand into his jeans’ pocket to take the phone out. He brought the device closer to his face as he slowly opened his eyes. But when he saw his father’s secretary name on the screen, Jaehyun immediately put it down again on his lap. He waited until the caller hang up on it by themselves. When he didn’t feel the vibrations on his hand anymore, he looked down at his phone intending to turn it off. But something stopped him from doing it.

He saw new message notifications on his phone screen and suddenly his stomach performed a nervous little flip.

Jaehyun stared at the two messages for a while, contemplating to reply or just call the sender. He didn’t spend that much time before deciding to do the later.

When his call got picked up on the second ring, Jaehyun greeted the recipient “Hello.”

After hearing the reply from the person on the other side of the line, Jaehyun said “I’m on my way home. What about you hyung?.”

Jaehyun listened to the cheerful voice that didn’t match with the gloomy weather while looking out of the window. He could see the trees were swayed by the strong wind as the rain splattered hard against the surface of every vehicle around him. The sudden downpour caused a heavy traffic on their lane that some people started beeping the horns vigorously. It made Jaehyun having a hard time to focus at the voice coming from the phone. His effort to process the other’s answer was heavily interfered, not only by the disturbing noise from his surrounding, but also by the roar of his own thumping heartbeat.

Somehow everything felt suffocating.

“I’m sorry hyung but can we talk later after I get home.”

“No no, it’s just..” he paused.

“My battery is almost died.”

“Do you mind if I call you again? I’ll probably arrive there in 30 minutes.” Jaehyun fiddled with the ripped parts of his jeans.

“Ok bye.” Jaehyun squeezed his eyes shut. The wrinkles between his eyebrows deepened. He was thinking hard.

After some times passed, Jaehyun blew out his cheek. He felt the back of his neck was getting hot from just thinking about last night.

Suddenly he turned his head to the right “Ya!”

He took a breath then continued “It was you who told others about me  being back here right?” Jaehyun said. The person he was talking to had been only focused on his tablet for their entire journey and didn’t look interested to have a conversation with him.

“Others..who?.”

“Jangjun hyung.”

“No” Bomin said.

“Don’t lie.”

“I don’t.”

“So how did he know?.”

“Don’t know.”

Jaehyun went back to look outside of the window with his fixed gaze, but actually watched nothing in particular. He tried to recall all the people who knew about his return that could possibly relay the information to Jangjun.

Some memories from last night made Jaehyun squint his eyes. “You’re having a video call with someone when you entered the library, who is it?.”

“None of your business.”

Jaehyun sucked the air through his teeth, he stopped looking outside to frown at Bomin‘s direction “You..!!.”

“Tell me who it is” Jaehyun demanded while putting his hand over Bomin’s tablet.

“Move your hand.”

Bomin grabbed Jaehyun’s persistent hand that still didn’t want to move an inch. But after realizing the older wouldn’t budge despite his effort, Bomin could only sigh before giving Jaehyun a strong stare “Why do you want to know?.”

“Why don’t you just tell me?.”

“I’ve told you, because it’s none of your business.”

“And that’s what makes you suspicious.”

“Suspicious of what? Do you think I’m the one who told him that you’re back in korea so I could start playing cupid?”

“Cu..cupid? What do you mean..”

“Nevermind, just make sure you’re the one who tell him about our situation.”

“Our..situation?” Jaehyun’s forehead creased in apprehension.

Bomin looked at him in disbelief before moving a little bit closer to Jaehyun’s side to whisper “You don’t really plan to tell him until our formal engagement ceremony about to happen right? Because there will be so many years left ahead.”

Bomin’s words left Jaehyun agitated in his seat that it took him some seconds to asked back “Do we really have to bother ourselves with that thing like..now? And isn’t that a private information that shouldn’t be shared with other people?.”

“I know that we’re supposed to keep it a secret for the obvious political reason, but you know Jangjun hyung is not a stranger for us. At this point he’s probably already part of my family friend, we just don’t have a reason to tell him about it now. But with you it’s different, I think he deserved to hear it directly from you considering your relationship with him.”

“How is it different with me? And what about my relationship with him?.”

“Look, I won’t dip my finger into your business with other people, but Jangjun hyung and Daeyeol hyung are the only people that I can consider as Sungyoon hyung’s closest friends. Well, that’s even the main reason how you got to close with him in the first place” Bomin gave Jaehyun a captious look.

“Then what’s your point? You haven’t even answered my question, what relationship are you talking about?.”

Bomin looked like he’s done talking with Jaehyun “Whatever it is that made you both kiss each other in someone else’s house.” He got back to his original position and started to pack his things up.

Hearing that, Jaehyun slightly gaped at the younger but didn’t say anything.

“And my point is, fiance or not I don’t care what he thinks about me. I just want you to save Sungyoon hyung and Jangjun hyung from any uncomfortable situation that can occur sooner or later.”

Bomin looked at the road ahead then talked to the driver “Sir, you can stop in front of the bakery right there.”

“Listen, I can explain..” Jaehyun said.

When the taxi stopped in front of a four stories building with a small bakery shop on its first floor, Bomin gave his card to the driver.

“I don’t need any though” Bomin said after he received the card back from the driver. He already readied himself to get out from the taxi with an umbrella on his hand when Jaehyun’s touch on his arm stopped him.

“It’s not like that. We..we’re not..”

Seeing the hesitation in Jaehyun’s eyes, Bomin cut him off “Let’s just save the talk for later, alright.” He thanked the driver before opening the taxi door then slid his umbrella out first.

Jaehyun could only look at the younger leaving his seat with an uneasy feeling in his heart.

“Where are we heading to now?” the taxi driver asked Jaehyun after Bomin closed the door. Jaehyun didn’t immediately gave him his address, he stayed silent for some seconds instead.

“Sorry sir, but I think I’ll just go with my friend.” Jaehyun unbuckled his seatbelt in hurry and moved his body to get out from the right door. He didn’t forget to apologize again before closing the taxi door then did a little run to catch up with Bomin.

It was a short distance but the heavy rain was enough to make his head and clothes wet in an instant.

Jaehyun was save from the rain when he got under the canopy at the bakery’s entrance. He waited in front of the big window until Bomin finished his purchase. When the younger exit from the door, he already stood beside him in an eyeblink.

“Oh god you startled me” Bomin shrieked. “What are you doing here?.”

“Do you think Sungyoon hyung will hate it if he find out?.”

“Wow just when I thought you would be more concerned about Jangjun hyung’s feeling if he know about us” Bomin said with an incredulous expression on his face. “I don’t know, Sungyoon hyung can be a difficult person when he wants to. Rather than disliking both of you for having something behind his back, I think he will hate the idea of you being approached by his own friend more.”

“But me and Jangjun hyung..there’s nothing between us.”

“Sure” said Bomin flatly.

“It’s true!” Jaehyun glared at Bomin in defense.

Bomin didn’t look convinced, but instead of making a rebuttal statement based on what he saw last night, he ruffled Jaehyun’s hair like it would really help him to get rid of the water from the already wet hair “Look at this.”

The action made Jaehyun automatically touched his head too.

“You become like this just to ask me that?.” Bomin looked the older up and down then gave his closed umbrella to him. “Just go home already.”

Jaehyun stared at the umbrella on his hand and said “I don’t need this. I can just run inside the taxi in seconds.”

“No, you must use it. I don’t want my coat getting dirty by the rain.” Without Jaehyun noticing it, Bomin had already taken off his gray long coat. He draped the coat on Jaehyun’s shoulders carefully to make it steadily attached on his body.

“What? I don’t need it too.”

“Just wear it, your sweater and pants are wet. It’s better than being cold on your way home.”

“But don’t you need it too?” Jaehyun still looked reluctant about it.

“I’ll be inside a room with heater for hours, which reminds me..I’m gonna be late if I don’t go in now.” Bomin immediately looked at his wristwatch to check how much time left before his study session started.

“Tsk Bong Jaehyun, you..” he scowled at Jaehyun for making him late. “I’m going in.” Bomin turned around to enter the building with his hurry steps.

“Bomin ah..” Jaehyun tried to call the younger but he already entered the building main door without looking back at him.

While still standing alone outside the bakery shop, Jaehyun said the word that was meant for Bomin to the air.

“Thanks.”

 

 


End file.
